The Easy-Way-Out is Actually Much Harder …

I was recently discussing with a fellow parent how hard some days are. One day, life can feel great, and the next – you’ve got two toddlers having meltdowns for no reason and before you know it, you might be having a meltdown, too.

LIFE. It’s beautiful, hard, and messy all at the same time. It’s part of the tension we live in! And, how do we navigate the hard moments, seasons, days? I’ve been coaching this parent in shifting their mindset. It’s easier to ruminate on the hard things. It’s easier to have a meltdown alongside my kids or checkout and start scrolling. It’s easier to numb my discomfort and to not deal with my kids'. And that mindset will keep us stuck and steal life from us until we’re willing to do the work to shift our mindset. YOU get to be the change. YOU get to bring joy, hope, love, positivity, and solutions.  

Life isn’t supposed to be easy. We’re supposed to build grit and resilience. Life is supposed to form us in such a way that we learn and grow and experience it. Research shows that when faced with a stressful event (whether slightly stressful or extremely stressful), there are three outcomes – we grow, we recover, or we become impaired. Two out of three of those are positive! One of them keeps us stuck. In the research, impairment is categorized by reacting to hard things (let’s call them stressors) with intrusive rumination (worry, brooding), emotional suppression, avoidance, and denial. It’s the easy way out – the problem is, the ‘easy way out’ is actually a lot harder for us and everyone else in the long run. 

So here are two small and simple ways you can face stressors (big or small) in a way that builds growth and resilience … and keeps your brain actively engaged and your emotions regulated.

ONE: self reflection. When you feel the negative behaviors start to bubble up, ask yourself why – why do I want to doom scroll for the next 30 minutes? Why am I so angry that my child is having a meltdown? Why does making dinner tonight seem like the weight of the world? Be your own best problem solver. Find out what is really under those emotions and dig in.

TWO: gratitude. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – finding even one thing to be grateful for in the midst of the hard moments fundamentally shifts our mindset from fear and scarcity to abundance and growth. When the hard things come (and they will), take 20 seconds to write down or say out loud a couple things you’re grateful for. 

YOU’VE GOT THIS! Let’s go be resilient people who raise, lead, and nurture more resilient and equipped people!