The Power of Your Story

Every one of us is a walking story. We all have history and experiences that make us who we are. Our stories got us to who we are today. We, right now, are the accumulation of our story. Some of us read that and think, “Great! Love that my story got me here.” Others of us read that and say, “No, thanks! My life today looks different and I would like to own the person I am now without remembering the person who existed back then.” For all of us, the past gets us to where we are today — whether we want to acknowledge that story or not. (This does not mean the past gets any power over us.) As integrated, wholehearted people who embrace our calling and our present story, it is imperative that we look backward and acknowledge the past is part of our present story.

Recently, I was chatting with my awesome counselor about my perfectionist voice and how she rears her loud voice — especially as I navigate motherhood — and I said something along the lines of, “I wish that voice would just go away.” And my lovely counselor said, “We first have to thank that voice because she got you to where you are today.” Did I burst into tears? Yes, I did. Thank the perfectionist voice who feels burdensome and heavy?! Nope! But she is part of me and she certainly has been part of my story. … In acknowledging that, I discovered a whole new freedom. Freedom that I don’t have to hate that voice or squash it like it isn’t there. Freedom to embrace all the parts of me with an open heart rather than silence them or pretend they aren’t there.

I wonder what voice or lie it is for you? That thing of your past you’d rather ignore and shove back down. You aren’t alone. When my perfectionist voice pops back up, I calmly say, “Thank you for getting me to where I am, and we’ll also silence any lie today.” It’s letting our past be part of our present story, without allowing it to own us or have power over us. Freedom is found in acknowledging that our past is part of us. If we can’t name it, own it, and rumble with it, that’s when our past finds ways to hold power we didn’t know it had.

I love what author and researcher Brené Brown writes about this: “The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable, but our wholeness — even our wholeheartedness — actually depends on the integration of all our experiences, including the falls.” (From her book, Rising Strong.) We are fundamentally integrated beings. That means our past is part of us — it got us to where we are today. It is right in this tension where we can more wholly embrace and appreciate our present.

As you step into more and more of who you’re created to be today, what does it look like to rumble with any part of your past story — experiences, cultural ‘norms,’ generational patterns, expectations, voices — that got you to where you are today? Maybe start lifting those things up in prayer, find a great counselor to walk alongside you, write out the pieces that have maybe felt hard to navigate (write out the really good things, too!), and jump into coaching with me and we’ll navigate what’s next as you live out your calling! See what freedom you find as you own your story!